


How Not to Wake Your Monk

by conceptstage



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Disaster siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 04:20:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17521895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/conceptstage/pseuds/conceptstage
Summary: Yeah, this probably wasn't Caleb's most brilliant idea.





	How Not to Wake Your Monk

“Will someone go wake Beau up?” Jester asked, leaning against the wall behind her with her knees pulled up against the tavern table in front of her. Frumpkin was laid in her lap, showing his belly to her and purring loudly.

Fjord and Nott exchanged a look and both instantly started to get up. “I’m picking up breakfast from the kitchen,” Fjord said. 

“Yeah, me too,” Nott insisted. “He needs me to do the heavy lifting since he’s such a beanpole.”

“Hey!” But they moved too far for her to hear the rest. 

She frowned and turned to Yasha who was having a wound on her arm tended to by Caduceus. “I’m injured,” Yasha said, not even looking up at her.

“On your arm.”

“It’s preventing me from walking up the stairs.”

Caduceus cleared his throat. “I am tending to the wound.” He started making nonsense movements even though the wrapping was already finished to make it appear that he was still working on it.

Jester huffed and turned to Caleb who was reading a book across from her. “Caleb. Caleb!”

He startled and nearly dropped his book but managed to hold onto it. “Hm? What?”

“Go wake up Beau.”

“Was? Why is it my turn?”

“Everyone else is busy.”

“You’re not busy.”

“There is a cat in my lap, I’m legally required to not move at all.”

“Yeah, it’s my cat. I can snap him over to me at anytime.”

“That’s illegal, I’ll have to arrest you for that.”

“It’s not- You’re not-” He huffed but closed his book. “Fine.” He stuck his book in his holster and got up from the table. Frumpkin blinked at him but didn’t move to follow. “Verräter…” he mumbled.He walked up the stairs to the room that Beau and Jester shared and when he turned the knob he found it unlocked. He pushed it open slowly and peeked in through the small crack. It was pitch dark inside and when he pushed it open farther he saw that she had draped her cape over the window to keep out the morning light. He checked one bed and found it messy but empty and then looked over at the other, spotting a lump in the covers. He sighed and stepped all the way inside. “Beau,” he whispered, taking a single step towards the bed. “Are you awake?” The lump grunted but didn’t move or speak. “Beau.” he was reluctant to get close but it seemed that he didn’t have a choice. He walked over and poked the lump. “Time to get up.”

“Fuck off…” Beau shifted under the blanket into a tighter ball.

“Jester sent me, it’s time to eat.”

“I know places to hide your body that no one will find it.”

“You used that line last week and you haven’t killed me yet.”

“You really wanna risk it?” She reached out from under the blanket and grabbed the rug that he was standing on. When he realized what she was about to do, it was too late. With a single sharp tug, she pulled it out from under him and he toppled to the ground.

“Shiße,” he hissed, rubbing his elbow in pain. He glared as she pulled her arm back inside. He opened his mouth to speak again, but then he paused. He had an idea. An evil idea. An idea that would probably get him killed but now that he’d thought of it he couldn’t let it go. “Fine,” he said, starting towards the door. “Miss out on the bacon, see if I care.”

“Good. Get the fuck out of my room.”

He stood up and walked out the door, leaving it cracked in case his hands were too full to open it when he came back. He walked down the stairs and found the table covered in breakfast. Jester gave him a curious look. “Where’s-”

He held up one finger and started towards the kitchen. “Just give me a minute.”

When he went back up to her room a short time later, Beau groaned and flicked him off from under the blanket. “Caleb! I said-” Before she could finish her threat, Caleb dumped freezing water over her head. “Ahhh!” she screamed, jumping out of the bed with a speed he usually only saw in battle. “Motherfucker! I’m going to kill you!”

Caleb turned tail and ran out of the room and down the stairs with Beau hot on his heels. Jester smiled as they ran passed the table and out the front door of the tavern. “Morning Beau! Please don’t kill Caleb today!”

“No promises!”


End file.
